Who’s In Charge Here, Cupcake? (Ego Versus Soul)


5 Ways to Tell if Ego or Soul is Directing You

So, Happy New Year to you, your ego and your soul! The New Year Resolution Game came and went. Several people made great resolutions; most have already dropped them. Some have bravely continued on their quest to do something that seems important, meaningful things…according to their egos.

And some already know the truth: only by knowing (and honoring) our soul’s true intention can we improve our lives in meaningful and lasting ways. Click To Tweet

And it really doesn’t matter what time of year it is (actually, if you listen to astrologers, January 1 was a horrible time to try anything new, but January 25 is a GREAT time to start manifesting, so hey, this week is perfect). The more honest with yourself you are, the higher you can go in this world.

http://ownyourcupcake.comA CUPCAKE’S SOUL INTENTION

So, what the heck is a person’s “soul” intention? Basically, it is the part of us that has never been damaged, or hurt, or lonely, or scared, or anything negative. In each one of us, there remains a part that is truly the perfection that God (or Spirit or Source) gave us upon the moment of our creation on this Earth. Some of us have always been in tune with our true intention, and we have nurtured it our entire lives; we now live a life of harmony, very little (if any) stress, and joy.

Some of us have been beat to hell and back with life, and we have no idea how to connect with that little piece of ourselves. Heck, some of us doubt we even have something that wonderful inside of us. As most healers are commenting in tele-summits all over social media and beyond, it seems that most healers in this lifetime are being attacked, and they have to do some serious soul searching to find their perfect selves, their untouched souls, their true intentions.

First, as you are contemplating your goals, figure out if what you want is ego-driven, or soul-driven. How can you tell? I’ll give you two examples.


Example number one(stolen from Your Year of Miracles): WEIGHT LOSS. If you say, “I want to lose 50 pounds so I can look good in my clothes,” you are speaking from ego. You are subconsciously trying to fit into an idea of what you are supposed to look like based on society’s conditioning.

However, if you say, “I want to be healthy, and have my outside match my inside beauty so I can do more for others and fulfill my purpose with more energy and ease,” this is soul speak. Think about it: if you truly are trying to be optimally healthy, and you want to maximize your potential in everything you do, you are probably taking amino acids instead of fat burners or French fries, drinking water and teas instead of sodas or milkshakes, or eating fresh fruit instead of deep-fried donuts or my famous brownies. You are most likely exercising outside several days a week, and inside when the weather is not cooperative. You will lose the weight, and as long as you are focused on maintaining your health so that you can make the world a better place (be it by teaching, by consulting, by writing, by building, whatever your niche is), you will feel so much better than what a simple dress size can give you. Don’t get me wrong: if the ex sees you in a killer dress, that’s always a cherry on top, but if you’re focused on your soul’s true intent, you won’t even be tempted to be that petty.

Example number two (stolen from one of Rikka Zimmerman’s seminars): EARN MORE MONEY. If you have a certain dollar figure in your head, such as “I have to make $1.2 million dollars this year to be happy,” you are speaking from—you know this, I’m sure—your ego. It is not money that is making you unhappy; it is something else.

If, however, you know what you want to do with your life this year (speak at three more engagements, put on two more seminars, or get some supplies to get more products out to more people) and why you are doing this (more freedom to spend time with loved ones or traveling) and you are truly doing this for your highest purpose, things will just begin to happen for you. Your plans will seem clearer, and the right people will appear to help you. It’s like magic, if you can remember to keep your ego out of it.

Which is really hard to do for most of us. It’s just too easy to make specific goals, then very specific plans with time frames and spread sheets and prizes for success and lower self-esteem for even the least bit of stalling. Don’t get me wrong: goals and plans are important, even necessary, which I have discussed in another post. To get an A in class, one needs to study and do exemplary work (and meet deadlines); to add more clients, one needs to create more opportunities to be spectacular. But somewhere in all of this, you need to find your balance between reality and magic, the ego and the soul.

http://ownyourcupcake.com5 WAYS TO LET YOUR SOUL LEAD (AND BEAT EGO)

  1. Ask yourself a question, then go do something that will take your mind off it and let your subconscious simmer. Carol Tuttle suggests playing with a deck of cards. Flip them over, study them, and let your mind wander. She admits that sometimes she goes through the pack twice, but the answer always comes to her. My dad used to sing his favorite song when he was trying to make a decision, and he swore the answer always came to him somewhere in the chorus.

2. Try a version of muscle testing. The easiest version is one with your hands, but I prefer the version where you use your whole body. Stand straight up, away from any electronics, and turn everything off (if you can do this outside, even better). Close your eyes, and find your balance. Breathe in and out a few times, and take your time as you relax into yourself. When you are ready, ask yourself a yes/no question, and pay attention to the first reaction of your body. If it leans forward, the answer is “yes.” If it leans backward, the answer is “no.” It’s really important to be patient with yourself and relax before you ask a question, otherwise your body may not react with an answer. The first time I did this correctly, I almost fell backwards!

3. Instead of asking a question, make it a statement, and immediately pay attention to how you feel. Anything positive feeling is a “true” statement. Symptoms might feel something like:  lighthearted,  your breathing quickens, your chin comes up, you suddenly feel more relaxed, or anything else that has an “upward” or “quicker” mental or physiological reaction. Think of this as your higher self totally approving of you. Anything negative—your throat gets choked up, you feel a knot in your stomach, your head hurts, you feel nausea, your shoulders hunch up—is a “false” statement. Your ego is most likely trying to take over.

4. Meditate. Set the intention to find your true self, and nurture it. Experts say mornings are the best time, and some say that if you do it before you get out of bed, you’ll be in a great mood the rest of the day. Other experts say it doesn’t matter. Deepok Chopah gives this advice to those who are too busy: “Those who don’t have time to meditate actually need it the most.” Studies show that meditation has emotional and physical benefits for those who consistently practice. Ten minutes is all you need.

5. Keep something to help you stay grounded in the present “you” moment. Some people use crystals, others use specific beads, and some use worry stones or small scripture cards. It doesn’t really matter; this is your talisman, so knock yourself out. The ego has had several years keeping you alive and safe; sometimes it feels uncomfortable just letting the “soul self” take charge.

So, Cupcake, who’s in charge of your life? What are you doing to make it better? What do you do to keep yourself on your higher path and purpose? What advice can you share for others who aren’t sure of themselves?

http://ownyourcupcake.comAs always, feel free to share, as you are sending out a karmic boomerang to anyone who may need help, and stay frosted, Cupcake!

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25 thoughts on “Who’s In Charge Here, Cupcake? (Ego Versus Soul)

  1. I’m in charge of my life…nobody else.

    The theme of the week, everywhere I turn is about “self-care” and I’m so glad. Way too often, we ignore our own self-care and it bites us on the behind.

    I designed my own planner to work in a way that keeps me focused. Instead of a massive list, I have top 3 tasks, top 3 people to contact, top three wins and a section for gratitude writing during the day. It’s a win for me everyday and I feel better.

    On my mini breaks, I just watch Chaos breath while she’s sleeping and I go into an “in the moment” state of ultimate relaxation. I listen to tracks on Brain.FM and use the Pomodoro technique to get me out of right brain mode and take care of my body and mind frequently during the day.

    It’s not for everyone, but works for me and I feel amazing.

    1. Gisele, I think it’s awesome that you are so self-aware that you know to take so many breaks during the day, as well as organizing so well in small chunks! 🙂 Love, love, love it, Cupcake! Now, we need to talk about you helping me organize, lol

  2. Oh my, you are on fire. You are a multi-dimensional woman and I love reading your blogs. Why? You never know what the topic will be about. This topic could be the beginnings of a course or webinar because so many people, yes spiritual people talk about finding your soul, coming from your soul, without examples to get you going.

    1. Oh my gosh, Roz, I hadn’t thought about anything like that, but you’re amazing for putting that idea in my head! Thank you, Cupcake! 🙂

  3. Love the 5 suggestions for letting your soul lead – great way to pay attention to why we’re taking action (or not taking action). Lots of areas for reflection / redirection / self-discovery here. Whoever thought cupcakes could be found in so many wild places!!

  4. I love all these exercises, and having tried most, including a different version of muscle testing. One of the things that has worked really well for me is the Freeze Frame exercise found in “HeartMath Solution.” In your mind, you go to your happy place (wherever that may be), put yourself back there with all your senses, and then ask yourself a question. The solution will be the first thing that comes up — your soul.

    1. Jackie, I like the “Heartmath Solution,” too, but sometimes I can’t find my happy place! Lol I have to relax first, and there’s the media ration to get me there. Love the suggestion; awesome help, Cupcake! Thanks!

  5. What a great article. Not too long ago I felt completely detached from my inner spirit, my intuition, my higher self… My first step was to start saying statements and checking in with how I felt. I still find that quite helpful. I have tried muscle testing (with my hand) but it just doesn’t seem to work for me. Maybe I’ll try the full body version of this. You’ve got so many great suggestions here; can’t wait to share these with my daughter who is truly struggling trying to figure out what she wants to do. It’s hard to see her feel she has no direction. Thanks for this

    1. Lisa, thank you so much for the compliment! The hand test only works with me if I can truly relax, so sometimes it’s kind of hard. I hope some of this helps the ones you share this with, and thank you for the faith, Cupcake! 🙂

  6. Absolutely LOVED this post, Liz! This is an amazing insight into what it takes to make decisions based on purpose (personal mission) rather than societal norms and expectations. Authentic living stems from being truly connected to one’s spirit rather than being stuck in the mind. The mind can trick and trap with overthink and clutter. The soul is unapologetically honest.

  7. One other method I had forgotten about, until reading this, was to ask yourself, “Who does this belong to?” which comes out of “Access Consciousness”. If you feel lighter when you ask it, it isn’t actually yours. Heavier…time to do some inner reflection.

    I am actually doing Your Year of Miracles this year and loved Collette Baron Reid’s webinar last night. She suggests using oracle cards as a way to know if it is a true soul intention by the question you ask and then the card you draw. Enjoyed the post and your five tips. I also carry or wear stones in necklaces and bracelets and also wear a hematite anklet to keep me grounded. There is also a breathing technique I’ve learned through Peter Gruenfeld’s “The Quiet Heart” that you might find interesting. The key is to find what works for you and to do it. The soul is always speaking to us, and all we have to do is quiet the mind/ego and listen to its message. Thanks Liz, life is definitely a journey.

    1. Beverley, I love Collette Baron Reid, as well. Some of her information is spot-on and easy to understand. “The Quiet Heart” is also a source of good information. This is why we get along so well, Cupcake. 🙂 Thanks for the ideas!

  8. I get it.. and hadn’t really thought it about it that way.. but makes sense… and while I don’t know that I would believe in the fall forward or back thing… I do think that if we listen to ourselves we may have more answers or that we, has humans are so busy being busy that we miss out on so much. Great post girlie

    1. Kristen, it takes a little practice to listen to our “true” selves. If you get some ideas, give ’em up and share, Cupcake! HUG 🙂

    1. Thanks, Katarina! I’m sure some of these exercises would be even better with some of your awesome wine! 🙂 Have a Cupcake kind of week, my friend!

  9. It’s so true how we tend to make decisions or seek goals that are ego based. I liked the exercises you gave at the end. Very helpful.

  10. Hi Liz,
    As I was reading your awesome and thought-provoking post, I was thinking that for MOST of my life the “EGO” has been guiding me and now as I enter in the mid-life part of my life, I feel that my “SOUL” is guiding me more and more 🙂

    As I listen to myself and allow my soul to guide me I feel more relaxed and at peace…when I let that nasty ego part come up I feel more stressed and anxious and I have to say I prefer the more peaceful side 🙂

    Thanks for sharing! Great post!

    1. Thanks, Joan! I’m glad that you are getting more comfortable with feeling your intuition! Hope you get to stay on the more “peaceful side,” Cupcake! 🙂

  11. Excellent blog!!!!! I love how you broke down the different between being ego driven versus being soul driven. I particularly enjoyed the tip about the muscle testing..I plan to try that! Sometimes our goals can start out as ego driven as we may need an external motivator to get us started. Once we find our why…they become soul driven and have deeper meanings. I am in charge of my life!!!

  12. I love this post, Liz. Definitely speaking to me as I am starting to listen to my soul more than my ego. My huge insight is my not being committed to myself and not nurturing that relationship. I do have something I carry with me to remind me I matter and I have a voice in this world. Meditation or Centering (same thing) does in deed help – a lot. I do mini centering during the day by taking 5 deep breaths and visualizing the rainbow or chakras. I am anxious to try the muscle testing as you describe; that will be on my to do list tomorrow!

  13. I let God be my guide. There are times when ego (pride) gets in the way, but the more I am conscious of God’s presence in my life, the more I learn to trust Him. I also practice the form of muscle testing you mentioned; it works great when deciding which of my nearly 100 essential oils I should use each day!

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