To Create or To Destroy: That is the Question, Cupcake

This is going to be a short post, for me, at least. It may seem more like a rant to you. At the end of the day, we have but one question to ask ourselves. To create or to not create; that is the question, Cupcake.

I am tired of people hurting other people, and blaming it on someone else. For instance, a person kills and injures 264 people when he detonates a bomb during an iconic marathon. Attorneys and the media are quick to blame his mother for her teachings and her hatred of America. When a young man kills people in a movie theater, people want to blame his therapist and professors for not helping him enough. When teenagers opened fire on their own classmates, bullies were blamed for the senseless killing. In schools, when a student fails, the teachers are blamed.

I could continue, but the list is endless. So are the excuses. Don’t get me wrong; I want to know why people do the things they do just as much as anyone else. However, explanations should not mean exoneration. And I have four questions on all of this.

1) Why do we keep blaming “others” for someone’s actions?

2) Why are we surprised at repeated “bad” behaviorย (understatement here)ย when it gets a ton of television time and the criminals reach superstar status overnight?

3) In the words of the late Rodney King, “Can’t we all just get along?” Why are we so hellbent on not just hurting each other, but violently hurting each other?

4) As a society, are we creating something good by these actions, or destroying something good?


I am not saying people do not have the right to be angry about things. I am saying that they are managing their anger or other negative emotions well. We can choose to create something, like a domino stack/design, which usually takes imagination, love, time, work, perseverance, and patience. We can choose to destroy something, like the domino stack, which is usually much, much easier. Inevitably, the choice is ours to make, either way. Just as the choice was theirs.

We are human. By our own hands, we create, or we destroy. And destroying something is not the same as creating something else. Destroying something is giving the opportunity for creation; it is not a promise of creation. Click To Tweet

Create or destroy. This is what we do. I have chosen to create a blog where people can come and hopefully smile every now and then. I choose to take responsibility for my thoughts as I create my sentences, and I hope to create a space for others here, as well.

And right now, I encourage you to decide: are you going to create something, or destroy something? Can you create something to make our world a better place? Can you create something to make you a better version of your cupcake self?


http://ownyourcupcake.comAs always, let me know how it’s going, and stay frosted!

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21 thoughts on “To Create or To Destroy: That is the Question, Cupcake

  1. This is a good thought provoking post – as a designer/maker/teacher, I am definitely on the creative side. but sometimes you have to stop something in order to have room to start something else.

    1. Diana, that tends to be the issue, right? And stopping is not the same as destroying, right? So you are actually creating more space. Awesome! Way to go, Cupcake! Thank you for your comment, and have a great week! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Tammy, I appreciate honesty and the apology, as well! I’m so glad to know I’m not the only cupcake around here! Thanks for sharing, and have a great week!

  2. Great post, gets my mind working ๐Ÿ™‚
    I think the problem is, that destroying is often so much easier then creating ๐Ÿ™
    But I am sick of people searching for excuses too…in the end everybody always has a choice and is solely responsible for their actions! I think they are simply lacking compassion or common sense, because not everybody with a hard life, turned out in a bad way…but then if you look back in history I am sometimes wondering if it isn’t also part of our blood, dna or whatever you like to call it…some kind of weird regulation machanism kicking in…now I am getting controversial too xD
    whatever it is, I chose to create, because when you destroy it is a mere second of fame…but if you create sth it will live on so much longer, it has a substance…and lets be honest it takes seconds to destroy a sand castle, but takes hours to built a great one, I love challenges ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. Sabine, I wonder why it takes so much longer to create something? Love your response: this is why we get along so well! Ha!

    1. Trenna, if you are destroying those peanut butter sandwich cookies, I’m coming over to help. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Liz, this is a thought -provoking blog and some of us could write a blog in response. Given our horrendous daily news, I have been thinking about the same topic for awhile. It is a well-known fact that our mental health system fails many who need it. But that is not the answer. I think most people who destruct thru actions or speech do so because they are not being heard or seen. In the transformational work I’ve participated in over the past 18 years, that one issue- not being seen, heard or gotten, seems to be at the root of most upsets. I better stop now. Thanks for a mid-day mental pick me up.

  4. Liz, I’m so glad I’ve met you in our virtual world! There is so much hatred going on and it’s to the point where I just don’t understand it anymore.

    I love to create and get an emotion out of whoever is looking at my artwork. Most of the time, the emotion is very positive and other times it brings an awareness to current issues. A while back, I created the most beautiful painting of a man hunched over. It was done in reds with cracked acrylic mediums. I titled it with one word and let everyone determine what the painting meant to them. Some said the man was homeless, wondering what to do, a musician who lost his instrument and so on. It got a conversation going, strangers who have never met or emailed before were talking about this painting.

    Another art piece I designed was of a little girl holding her new puppy. I did this as a graphite portrait and comments were that it was cute and very well done, but the biggest compliment I received was that the drawing exuded love, you know the kind that warms your heart.

    This is how I create to make my world a little better.

  5. You’ve asked some very interesting and thought-provoking questions, Liz.

    I believe part of the problem is that we are prone to wanting to put the blame on someone else rather than face harsh reality and do something about it because it is so much easier to criticize than to rise to the occasion and try to make a difference.

    Yet, when someone does rise and step up to the challenge, others follow suite so there is hope that someday, being creative will be more of a norm than destroying.

  6. Taking responsibility for ones actions seems to be difficult, blaming someone else is well the easy way out.

    When you consider that at some point all these individuals were very young and innocent without care. As they grow and mature grow social interaction, peer pressure and yes family values influence the direction they decide to take.

    It’s sad to sit and watch the evening news with one story after another being associated with some form of violence, be it shooting, assault, arson, robbery… so on.

    I sometime wonder if all the publicity these individuals attract is not adding to the problem. We need to keep up with current events but how many time do you want to see the same story and facts over an over.

    Lets face it there are some individuals out there that look at these actions and say “I think I’ll do that”.

  7. To create or destroy is an individual choice and no-one else can make that decision for you. Some people are angry with the world and can be influenced by others (peers, family, etc) but in the end they make the decision to do mindless acts of violence.

    In this current world, it is easier to blame other influences than to make the person directly responsible. This is not new, it is just better publicised than it once was. I remember when I was a youth a story about a teen who went on a rampage, in that instance they blamed the music he was listening to (Judas Priest) which I found interesting as I was a huge fan of the band and never had the thought to be violent.

    I am a creation type person and alway prefer to channel my energy into positive things. Sure I get angry at times with situations, but my first thought is how to make something good out of the situation, not be violent.

    Great post Liz, very thought provoking and profound. Cheers, Ian

  8. This topic has been very heavy on my own heart and head for the last while as well, Liz. The research continues to show that by nature we humans do so much better in situations that are co-operative and collaborative. We are basically good and giving at the core of who we are. Survival of the fittest is not in fact true as so many have come to believe. Humans operate out of greed, while nature never takes more than it needs. The fact that so few people feel seen and hears, as Roslyn already mentioned, is at epidemic proportions in our world today. We seem to have forgotten our humanity and I would imagine many of the violent acts are to get attention and to get “more” of whatever is missing in the person’s life. We also pollute and destroy our planet, which I know is leading to all kinds of mental health issues that we are witnessing more and more on a daily basis. We humans have a responsibility to each other and to our planet and we all can contribute to create a new way of being on planet Earth. It comes from a willingness to co-operate and communicate. The word community is of the utmost importance. We have isolated rather than united and I for one, am creating the possibility that that changes for us all!

    1. Beverley, I’m glad we share similar feelings. I would love to hug everyone and tell each person it’s ok, but right now it seems futile. I can only hope that there are enough people in the world to keep it balanced overall. Thanks for chipping in, Cupcake!

  9. Wow Liz! I really felt your emotion and concern for the world we are ALL creating. You are not alone in your thoughts. Most people are sick and tired of the mess we have created. The hatred, discrimination, injustice, greed, corruption and quite frankly lies, have caused separation and intolerance.

    Where has the love gone? Why can’t we all just get along? Why can’t we create better for ourselves and future generations?

    I choose to create love . I create love because I know there is no energy more powerful than love. Choosing love brigs about the highest good for me and others who also share this planet.

    I’m with Martin Luther King, Jr. on this one who said: I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

    Hate destroys and darkens. It decimates everything in its path. It kills, it shoots, it discriminates, it divides, it oppresses, it violates, it robs the very essence from life.

    I’m really glad you wrote this post. I think so many of us can relate to it. So many of us desire to see a better world for all. I’d love to start a secular organisation that has at its core a vision and mission to lift people up. To empower and to help people feel loved and valued so together we can ALL better the world we live in. Thank you for a though-provoking read. The humanity in me honours the humanity in you.

  10. This is a great blog. I enjoyed reading this, Liz! I’m trying to create the world that people especially over 50 years old can enjoy life by doing what they like to do and feel great about themselves. I enjoy everyday challenges because of other people’s smile ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Hi Liz ๐Ÿ™‚

    I really enjoyed your post! I definately want to “create” and not destroy. As you said and I know from just watching tv lol, so many people do things and do not take personal responsibility that they should! Why? I just do not get it! You have definately given me some food for thought, thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Hi Liz,
    What a though provoking post! I’m so glad that you wrote this. I do think that many can relate and feel the same way.

    It does come down to a choice – a conscience act of the will to create or destroy, doesn’t it? I choose to create and not destroy.

    Thank you for writing this!

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