Early last summer, I visited a college mentor who offered to help me with my website and computer illiteracy. She had helped me start on this whole blog road, despite my terror of joining forces with computers and the looming danger of SkyNet. As a token of my appreciation, I brought her a small crystal bracelet from one of my favorite stores. Later that evening, she thanked me and wrote, “It’s just what I needed, but you are too generous!”
This seems like a normal, everyday “thank you” moment. On the surface, this is a grateful and humble statement. In reality, this moment actually lowers both of our cellular vibrations and repels other good things from coming our ways. Why? In a nutshell, we are deflecting the good vibes that have been intended for us. We are not really accepting our gifts from others. We do not practice the art of receiving.
If you’re a sporty kind of person, try this: Think of someone’s gift as a football (or hockey puck, or basketball). For you to receive the gift, your giver needs to “score.” The ball gets kicked, and your deflection comment makes the football hit the uprights and miss the field goal. The soccer ball (futbol) or hockey puck hits the goal posts and flies back into the arena. The basketball hits the rim and bounces away from the basket. No score. “Almost” doesn’t count. And now someone else has the good karma that was meant for you.
Other people—many “spiritual healers” and intuitive minds—are noticing this “deflecting phenomenon,” as well, even in themselves. And they are realizing that they have to be conscious in order to stop their own habits. In one phone call/interview, Eram Saeed and Jarrad Hewett both have to pause in their conversation with each other to take the time to just accept each other’s compliments. They say things like, “OK, I am just going to say ‘thank you’ and accept your compliment” or “Wow, this is really hard to just accept your gift and not deflect it.” They laugh with each other, but they both admit that sometimes receiving is hard. Why?
In an older YouTube video, Rikka Zimmerman scratches her nose and observes, “We have been taught that we have to work hard. We have to earn what we get. When people want to pay us for our services, most people are OK. So, where do we draw the line? Would you say, accept a car? Or a house? At what point do we put a value on ourselves and stop others from giving us gifts beyond our own perceptions?”
THE PROCESS OF REPELLING
What happens to us? Why do we put lower price tags on our services and ourselves? Some of us price ourselves under local competitors so we can get our business going better. Some of us have been conditioned to believe we are not as smart, or as worthy, as others in our professions or fields. It doesn’t help that corporate America still pays women seventy-two cents for every dollar they pay men in the same position. Now, let’s add one more part of our conditioning: When someone compliments us, society (or maybe a parent) has taught us the polite thing to do is act humble so others see us as truly grateful and not arrogant. How do we do this? By not really accepting the compliment. And all of this, for whatever good reasons we may have, serves to make us less than what we truly are.
Is there a way to accept a gift and stay humble? Sure there is. But let’s make sure you are aware of some common phrases people use to deflect and repel abundance.
PHRASES THAT REPEL GIFTS AND ABUNDANCE
“No thanks necessary. It’s my job.”
Or maybe we say something like, “Oh, you did all the work. I just showed you how to do it.” (I am so guilty of this one!)
“It was nothing.”
“Don’t thank me. Such-and-so really helped you more than I did.”
“OH, you shouldn’t have!”
“This is too much.”
“I can’t accept this.”
Get the idea? Any of these sound familiar? So, what have we done to ourselves? We have diminished our own self-worth, and we have allowed ourselves to think that we are less than what we are. And this keeps us from being our amazing selves.
This is only part of the equation. When we deflect a gift, we also lower the vibration of the person who gave us the gift, however small it may be. When we do not accept a gift, we subconsciously tell our giver, “You picked the wrong gift for me. I’m really a loser, and you are a loser because you didn’t already know that.”
Can you think of how many times you have done this in one day? How about one week? How many times do you think you have lowered your vibrations as well as those around you in the last year? Do I really need to keep going, or are you ready to change this toxic pattern?
HOW TO PRACTICE THE ART OF RECEIVING
You will love this part. It just takes practice, practice, and perhaps a little more practice. OK, maybe a lot of practice. This will be fun! 🙂
- Remember your manners. Say “Thank you.” Mean it (be authentic). And stop your mouth from saying anything else.
- Accept the gift. Trust that this is God’s way of telling you how wonderful and great you are. (If not God, then Source or Universe.)
- Know you are free to receive. You are not expected to return a gift. You are not obligated to buy your benefactor a bigger or nicer gift. Your acceptance of any gift is actually your reciprocal gift, because this person has taken time and put in effort to give you a compliment, a card, or anything else that she has chosen to give you as a way of showing gratitude. Your acceptance reaffirms to her that she is a wonderful person for seeing the greatness in you. All you have to do is—yep, you know this—RECEIVE. Just to be clear, let me repeat: When we receive a gift with love and gratitude, we tell our gift-giver she is amazing. Click To Tweet
- Give yourself permission to be loved. Gifts, whether small trinkets or beyond our craziest dreams, are people’s ways of showing you their gratitude. They are showing you that you matter, and they are grateful to share a part of your life with you. Receive this karmic boomerang with joy and grace! When we receive love, we have more love to give, and then the cycle grows even stronger. How awesome is that?
ONE MORE THING: Accept gifts without comparing or judging. You are not an orange. You are not an apple. If you need reminders for this, go here. Whatever someone gives you, know that they are showing you love. It does not matter if they give you a coupon or a car. Love is love. Comparing can drive you crazy, and it lowers everyone’s vibrations. Appreciate the moment for what it is: a moment where someone acknowledges you for being you. And that is awesome. Accept it for what it is, Cupcake!
So, my darling Cupcake, just remember that you are amazing, and you are a gift to everyone around you. If you haven’t a clue as to some things that make you wonderful, go here to get some ideas. Otherwise, know that I am grateful that you have read my post, and I hope you accept this as my gift to you today. 🙂
By the way, if anyone ever wants to buy me a house, or a car, or a t-shirt, I will say “YES” with a huge smile. I’m all over practicing that receiving thing.
How do you honor others when they give you gifts? As always, feel free to share, as you are sending out a karmic boomerang! Have a great day, and keep it frosted!