Dear Cupcake, After Careful Consideration, We Regret To Inform You…

…That  You Failed.   (Why the Laws of Attraction Seem To Reject Some People.)

Ever had a day that started out bad, then got worse? Why do the Laws of Attraction seem to reject some people, and bless others beyond belief? Is it karma, or penance for unconfessed sins? Has the Goddess Fortune returned from mythology to teach us about fate, or is it all just dumb luck? Or is it something that we actually manifest ourselves, as mind experts suggest?

This week I had a day where everything was “off.” I woke up, did my “great day” thoughts, and by the time I brushed my teeth, I was agitated. As I walked downstairs, I tried to put myself in a better mood. After all, I hadn’t even done my workout. My husband met me downstairs, and he was in a bad mood, too, so we growled at each other for no reason other than we shared the same oxygen. By the time I stretched after my workout, tears were streaming down my cheeks. What the hell is wrong with me? I was healthy and safe. Nothing traumatic had happened to me or my family. My dogs were happy. I had no idea what caused my mini-meltdown. In essence, life was good. So???

I had to meditate for a while to find it; it was actually several “its” that had accumulated over the past couple of weeks. There had been an airline fiasco, where my mother and I were held prisoner at the airport while the airline and Travelocity (based in Dallas and now owned by Expedia) fought over who needed to take care of us. We had problems both ways. (Thank you, Kristen Wilson, for the encouragement and laughs.) There had been a scathing remark made about me to relatives while I was in the room. When I returned home, I realized I needed to move my blog site away from (thank you, Kristen, for the help). However, if you know me, you know that I am atrocious with technology and the more awesome an app is, the worse I am at working it. To be honest, “atrocious” is too positive. If you can think of a worse word, that’s me.

Now, what is interesting here is that I pretty much maneuvered through all of these events pretty easily. My mother and I eventually flew out of Texas, and we were able to rent a car to finish our trip. All my relatives said the same thing when our return flight was cancelled: “This is extra time we get to spend with each other.” We enjoyed our extra visit, and eventually made it home safely. When I reached out to my social network group hosted by Kim Garst, computer tech Katrina Moody came to the rescue and restored me close to normal as she sweetly encouraged me to “play with the site” (yeah, um, not so much for me). All in all, it should have been a win-win for me.

So, why was I so upset?

I call them the underlings. Underlings are the thoughts that lie under conscious thought, laying like fog over a pot hole at night. You never suspect a thing: one minute you’re driving along, unaware of the danger ahead, then WHAM! You drive right into the pot hole and mess up your car. It is a crazy analogy, I know, but it works the same way in your brain. Did you catch all the negative messages I heard as I went through my life?

At the airport: You are not worthy of help. You do not deserve kindness. Nobody likes you. You are not in control of your life.

            With my relative: You are not loved. I do not approve of you.

            And with all the computer junk that I still can’t fix by myself? You can’t do this. You are too stupid to figure this out. If you keep asking for help, they will know, and no one likes a dummy.


Now, let me be clear. None of this is true. Not one sentence. At the very least, I may be technically “challenged,” but I am still smarter than the average bear! I will someday work my computer with ease, just not as quickly as people who have embraced the internet as much as I have avoided it.

Usually, when things like this come up, I acknowledge the hidden message I hear, clear it, and move on with my life. Over the last several days, while I had been doing my prayers and workouts, I had been so intent on my work and homework that I had not “cleared” out any negative thoughts. My Ego had taken over my mind, leading the way and keeping me “safe” in my comfort zone. Don’t leave; you do not need to know how to work a computer. Just stay in this world, where you already know how to do everything. You do not need adventures, good or bad. Just stay here. Let me help you. If you go out of this comfort zone, you will fail, and then you will only feel worse. And the Laws of Attraction were listening. As a result, everything in my life was wonky. I could not get things to work smoothly in my job, my relationships, or even my sleep.

The negative thoughts festered, like small splinters, somewhere in the back of my mind. I compartmentalized them, ignored them, and tried to go on my cheerful way, but negative thoughts do not go away. They do interesting things in the brain, which scientists are learning more and more. Negative thoughts actually light up the amygdala, the small part of tissue in the back of our brain that registers fear, setting off the flight or fight reaction. The more our fear ignites the amygdala, the more the neurons fire in the brain, and the neurons can take this emotion all the way to the front of the brain. The fear can insert itself into and light up the prefrontal cortex, which is the front of the brain which plays a critical role in how the brain processes intense emotions and memories. Can you understand how this might skew a person’s reality? Even worse: fear releases cortisol, a stress hormone, and in large amounts, cortisol actually KILLS neurons in the brain. One of the smallest parts of the brain holds a negative thought, lighting up as much brain matter as possible, and spreads a poison that has no subconscious cure.






In my case, my subconscious decided I needed a wake-up call, gave me a push, and I paid attention. Luckily, I have been doing this a while, and I understood what I needed to do. The key is to remember that 90% of your worries and doubts are “nothing more than memories from the past that are projected onto your brain that forms your present and your future” (John Assaraf). Each of us is different, but I can share some ways that may help you.

  1. 3:1 Ratio. For every one negative thought you have, you need three positive thoughts to literally change the chemicals and patterns in your brain. When we feel positive emotions, the brain releases dopamine, which is a feel-good chemical. However, it’s not as strong as cortisol, which is why you need to come up with three or more positive emotions. If you can get your ratio up to 5:1, man, that’s when things happen! Every day is gold! Good things just seem to find you, opportunities abound everywhere. Understand, you have not majorly changed your surroundings. You have opened your brain’s awareness and a level of receiving that increases your success and happiness.


  1. As soon as you hear a negative thought, tell it to shut up, or stop. Once you’ve done this (as you remember these thoughts are lies), it should go away. If it is persistent…



  1. Listen to it. Acknowledge it. This may be some past pain from childhood returning. Sometimes, if you just acknowledge the fear, it becomes neutralized, and disappears. If it still continues, you can act like a kid yourself and play the “Why?” game, and keep asking questions until the brain gets exhausted and figures out for itself that it doesn’t really feel this way or believe this. You should actually end up friends with this part of your brain when this is over. Yay!



  1. Write your negative thoughts down. Get them all out while you are in the thick of the emotion. Also write your positive thoughts down. Keep your papers in a drawer somewhere. You do not need to revisit them, but some people have anxiety return when they throw the pages away (the brain thinks it needs to hold on to the negative thoughts and emotions and panics).



  1. Quick meditation. Take 60 seconds (1 minute) each hour to meditate. Just sit still for 1 minute and remember your goals. Picture what you want in as much detail as possible. A study in Harvard found that this increases brain productivity and happier conversations at work, so it may be worth your time to do this simple act.



  1. Run it to death. Mark Waldman claims that this works like a charm. For thirty seconds, run in place or jump rope or do jumping jacks as fast as possible. Scientists have discovered that in as little as 30 seconds, the brain starts to release the happy chemicals. Imagine, in 30 seconds, your brain will start to release its negative thoughts and chemicals!



  1. Ask a different question. Instead of complaining or asking, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “What can I do to change this? What can I do to accomplish my goal?” This trains the brain to look for solutions, and it will again release happy chemicals as it finds a way to help you accomplish your purpose.


Let go of those negative thoughts, and let yourself feel better quickly. Give yourself permission to be happier. Challenge yourself to overemphasize every beneficial aspect of your day every day. And as you do these activities every day as often as possible, the Laws of Attraction will no longer seem to reject you. As you think positive thoughts, you will attract positive things in your life. I am so excited for you! Snoopy dance!

As always, please share your comments below. What are some ways that you notice you are in a negative or fearful mindset? What are some things you do to change this into a positive frame of mind? Feel free to share, as your comments may help someone else who’s reading this, which always provides a Karma boomerang!

Have a great day, and stay frosted!

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3 thoughts on “Dear Cupcake, After Careful Consideration, We Regret To Inform You…

  1. Is it possible to love a blog more?? LOL

    My fav tips from today’s post are to RUN IT OUT!! and to take 60 seconds every hour to meditate!! These are things I know that I can do.

    It’s a funny old thing, the law of attraction. So many books and self help gurus talk about it but they don’t fully address how to deal with the sabotage monkey. I really value your blog because it touches on tricky topics and then gives really useful and achievable ways to make positive change in your life.

    Can’t wait to share this post with my community xx

    1. Jane, I’m so glad you found something that you can use and share! Since this is my purpose, feel free to share the love with anyone you think can benefit. Thank you for reading, and have a cupcake kind of day! 🙂

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